My Bella
by SilverwingsJP
Summary: “Once upon a time, Bellatrix, you did love me. Hatred will not alter you. To me, you will always be my Bella.” Bellatrix reflects upon her previous relationship with Sirius.


**A/N- This is the revised version of 'My Bella'. I felt the need to write it over, and it wouldn't leave me alone until I did. So, enjoy it, if you haven't already. **

**My Bella **

Bellatrix gazed at the dilapidated front door of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place with a mixture of disdain and nostalgia. The exact doorway an impish cousin found to be the perfect location for an open display of mischief. The twisted serpent knocker, which she had held in her small hand many years ago, glinted in the serene moonlight.

Anger flared in her chest, as the familiar ache of guilt crawled into the forefront of her mind. The day at the Ministry was forever etched into her thoughts. His face, her laughter, the searing _guilt_ afterwards.

Due to the death, the Order of the Phoenix had vacated the horrid house. Her glove-clad hand pressed against the door, and a sharp memory flashed before her eyes.

**X**

A young girl stood upon a high hill. Her neat, black hair was half-tucked into a satin red bow. A dark dress whipped at her lanky knees. Her dark eyes, alit with pride and innocence, stared down at the vast valley, stretching to the horizon. A crumpled letter was tightly clutched in her pale hand. It was an acceptance letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Suddenly, a small, hesitant hand tugged at the hem of her dress. The large, gray eyes of her four-year-old cousin, Sirius Black, stared up at her with obvious confusion. "Bella," he tugged, "Bella, why are you leaving?"

"I am going to Hogwarts," Bellatrix stated, gently removing the material of her dress from his insistent hand.

"Why do you have to go to Hog…?" Sirius's aristocratic features twisted, as his tongue attempted to wrap around the newfound vocabulary word.

"Hogwarts," assisted Bellatrix. "A school where only wizards and witches can attend. You will go someday."

"Why can't you learn magic things at home?" Sirius prodded.

"Well, because…oh, I don't know, Sirius," she sighed, devoid of a prepared answer. "Why are you so curious?" A gentle smile graced her lips.

"'Cause you're leaving," was the pouting response. "I don't want to be left alone with Cissy. She _hates_ playing with me."

"You have Andromeda. She will play with you while I am gone."

"But I want to play with you!" whined Sirius, presenting his most affectionate puppy-dog face.

Bellatrix laughed and ruffled a hand into his soft ebony hair. "Oh, Sirius. I am not leaving _forever_." She promptly placed her hands upon her hips, appalled that Sirius would think of such a thing. "I will be back before you even realize I am gone."

"When will that be?" he inquired, as the pair began the journey back to her house. His warm hand clasped around her cool, slender fingers.

"Christmas," she stated, planting a kiss on his cheek.

Sirius giggled. "I will wait for you with a big present!"

**X**

Bellatrix's footsteps echoed dully across the thin carpeted floor of the humid hallway. The once lovely wallpaper was tattered and peeling. Spiders, of various species, created vast cobwebs in the nooks and crannies.

**X**

"Sirius!" The name was an instant salutation, as Bellatrix found herself at Aunt Walburga's home for Christmas Eve. "Sirius, are you there?"

"Bella!" Little footsteps sprinted down the staircase. Sirius launched into Bellatrix's embrace. "You came fast!"

"I know," Bellatrix laughed, holding the small boy to her stomach. To assuage her eager cousin, she gasped rather dramatically. "I think someone grew."

Sirius straightened his posture. "I was going to tell you," he spoke through a pompous grin.

"Congratulations. You are turning into a big boy! Perhaps I should never leave you again. Next time I come home, you may just be taller than me."

"Bella," he interrupted, "I have to give you your really, really, really big present!" Sirius clutched Bellatrix's hand, and proceeded to drag her into the parlor.

There was, as promised, a large box planted in the middle of the room. Sirius's hand fell from her own, as Bellatrix eagerly ran up to the box. "What is it?" she breathed.

"Open it and see, silly!" replied Sirius, gray eyes brimming with excitement. He bounced on the tips of his toes, as his favorite cousin removed the wrapping paper. "Do you like it, Bella? Huh? Huh? Do yah?"

A polished, untouched broom was lifted gingerly from the box. "It's perfect, Sirius," she whispered. "Did you pick this out?"

"Well, mummy helped me. Only a little bit, though!"

"The point is, cousin of mine," Bellatrix tickled Sirius's belly, "that you were thinking of me." She brushed his hair aside, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Thank you for the wonderful present."

**X**

Bellatrix quietly passed Aunt Walburga's sleeping portrait. She ventured up the grand staircase, a particular room in mind.

Nothing had moved. Furniture remained in the same areas. Papers and baubles scattered about the floor and his desk in a frozen trance. A layer of dust coated the familiar room.

**X**

Stars, glittering eyes in an endless sea of indigo, twinkled with the half-moon. Blades of grass swayed, as a gentle summer breeze spread across the meadow.

"Hey, Bella, what's Hogwarts like?" Sirius whispered. A folded acceptance letter was pressed against his open palm. "You ought to know," he chuckled. "You finished a year ago."

Bellatrix rolled onto her stomach. "Well," she began, "you learn a ton of spells. Studying is a priority, despite your lacking any sense of responsibility." A laugh escaped her lips at Sirius's mortally wounded expression. "The Professors are sharp. Watch yourself if you do happen to tumble into the hands of trouble, which is a rather obvious statement."

"Nah." Sirius waved away Bellatrix's accusation. "Little me? In trouble? Bella, I am ashamed to call you my relative."

Sirius and Bellatrix fell into an episode of breath-catching laughter. Sirius clutched at his aching sides, as Bellatrix pitifully wiped away tears from the corner of her eye.

"Bella?" Sirius questioned as the laughter died down.

"Hm?" She idly twirled a strand of his long hair.

"Will we…will we still be friends when I leave for school?" he murmured, eyes downcast.

"Of course, Sirius. Why wouldn't we?"

**X**

As Bellatrix recalled their last civil conversation, she realized she was sorely mistaken.

**X**

An unspoken occurrence in the prestigious Black family was a placement in Slytherin. There were no frantic thoughts or sweaty palms, as the Sorting Hat fell upon your head. It was _always_ Slytherin.

"Make us proud," was the hushed whisper of advice Bellatrix granted Sirius.

Bellatrix waved to Sirius until the Hogwarts Express was a blurred image in the far distance.

A few days following the departure, Sirius sent a letter. One letter to one recipient.

_Dear Bella, _

_I pondered all of the intricate ways I could dictate to you what has happened. A joke, to see how you might react. To be honest, I had even considered the idea of begging for forgiveness. I was not fond of that one. I am going to allow honesty to lead my hand. Bellatrix, my dear cousin, I am in Gryffindor. Yes, Gryffindor. You didn't read the sentence wrong, and I did not make a careless error, for I know at this moment you are frantically re-reading. I am surprised, to say the least, but not displeased. What I must ask of you is to not tell my mother. She will cut my head off for sure. I promise I will tell her just not now. _

_Well, on a slightly cheerful note, wish me luck in Gryffindor. I suppose I will need it. The entire school looks at me as if I am a polka-dotted dragon with two heads. Odd, right? _

_All my love, _

_Sirius _

A frowned creased the smooth plane of Bellatrix's forehead. "Gryffindor?" she repeated. _No one_ in the Black family was sorted into Gryffindor. Ravenclaw, and even, dare she say, Hufflepuff would have been slightly more acceptable. Sirius had never openly bended from the family views. However, he did not participate, either.

Perhaps the Sorting Hat had found something deep inside her nonchalant cousin. Much to her horror, she realized with intense dread that Sirius would transform into a great Gryffindor.

Days dwindled by, and Bellatrix did as Sirius requested. Aunt Walburga remained blissfully unaware of the situation. Bellatrix, on the other hand, suffered alone. The horrible sensation of betrayal was a sour taste in her mouth.

Bellatrix begrudgingly began to see her old boyfriend, Rodolphus Lestrange, after a series of persistent nudging. The couple married, and, consequently, she joined the Dark forces.

**X**

Bellatrix glided a finger along his dresser, leaving a stark line of clean in her wake. His face suddenly flashed in the polished wood. She would never forget that day.

**X**

"Bellatrix!" exclaimed Sirius. "Bellatrix, I'm home!"

There were no running footsteps. Essentially, Grimmauld Place was quite silent.

Sirius frowned. "Where is she?" Sadness flashed in the depths of his crystalline gray eyes.

"She is in her own house. She's married," Walburga spat, abruptly dropping his suitcase. Sirius had made the dreadful mistake of telling his parents at the train station. "Kreacher!" She snapped her fingers, and a moment later a decrepit house-elf appeared. "Take _his_ suitcase up to his bedroom."

"M-married?" Sirius spluttered. "But…she can't be. She never told me."

Stricken with revelation, Sirius held back angry tears. Bellatrix lied. She promised him that they would remain friends when he returned home. He decided to wait a day for a response from her. Nothing. Intent on speaking to his cousin, Sirius grabbed a handful of Floo Powder, while the person he was seeking appeared out of the fireplace.

"Hey, Bella!" he greeted her, ecstatic. For a moment, Sirius had forgotten his anger. The empty emotion surfaced, as Bellatrix strode past him without a second glance. "Bella?" He slowly followed her, a frown forming upon his handsome face.

Bellatrix and his mother were in heated conversation of whispers. Abruptly, she nodded and turned to leave, save for an infuriated Sirius standing in her path.

"Excuse me," Bellatrix stated curtly.

"Why aren't you speaking to me, Bella?" Sirius demanded.

"_Excuse me_," she reiterated, dark eyes flickering. Animosity crackled between the two relatives, as glares were shared.

"Fine!" Sirius shouted after her retreating form. "Cousin-traitor!"

Bellatrix's footfalls halted. "At least I am not a blood-traitor." The whisper was a deadly sin, as Bellatrix disappeared into the roaring flames.

Sirius learned that day that his friends were correct about Purebloods. He was, indeed, trapped within Pureblood Mania.

**X**

Bellatrix strolled across the room to his armoire. The hangers held a small section of shabby clothing and mothballs. She shut her eyes, willing her memory to erase the last time she stood in the room.

**X**

"Bella, I need to speak with you," stated Sirius, gravely shutting his bedroom door to shield the private conversation.

"What?" Bellatrix snapped, cold. She crossed her arms, regarding Sirius as if he, himself, were a Mudblood in the flesh.

Over the past years, Sirius had improved his relationship with his other cousin, Andromeda. He and Bellatrix had not spoken since he arrived from Hogwarts.

"I am leaving."

Bellatrix's glare softened to a perplexed frown. "Why? Where are you going?"

"To the Potter's house," Sirius responded after a moment's hesitation.

"Oh, I see," snarled Bellatrix. "You are going to live with the other blood-traitors."

Sirius sighed, perceptibly irritated. "Yes, Bella. I would appreciate it if you would not call them that."

"Why shouldn't I?" she shrieked. "_Him_ and your other _friends_ are the reason for your ridiculous ideas. _They_ are the cause for your apparent desire to leave."

"Don't you dare insult my friends!" Sirius roared. "They are the only ones who actually give a damn about me!" A trembling forefinger pointed threateningly in her direction.

A million seconds passed by from the last time they had spoken to each other, and a furious argument was their first exchange.

"Well, when are you leaving?" She denied concern, upturning her nose.

"Tonight."

"Tonight?" Bellatrix recurred. "Are you mad? Your mother is going to kill you!" There was no rhetorical tone to Bellatrix's voice. "I personally do not blame her. This is the second time she is losing you."

"She doesn't care," growled Sirius, hatred stinging every word.

"Why are you leaving, Sirius?" Bellatrix solicited. "Why?"

"Because, Bellatrix—" The use of her full name burned. "—our family…our family is a bunch of Pureblood maniacs! If I don't escape now, I never will."

A cold-hearted laugh constricted Bellatrix's throat. "What are you talking about, Sirius? You are, and always will be, a Black. It is in your blood, and you will always have that. You will forever be haunted with _Pureblood mania_." She shook her head at the cousin that once, many years ago, held much promise. "School has changed you. As a child you—"

"Bellatrix," interjected Sirius, striding forward. He placed his hands down upon her delicate shoulders. "My childhood means nothing. That was then, this is now. I changed. I believe you have the ability to change your mind, as well." He gripped her listless hand. "Come on, Bella. We can revert back to the way things were, if only you'd—"

"No, Sirius," she opposed, removing her hand from his. "I have made my decision, as you have."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at the vigor of the statement.

"I am not going to follow you. Not now. Not ever. If you want to leave the family, be my guest. No one is stopping you. As you say, no one cares, right?" A flicker of a smirk twitched at her lips. "Go, Sirius. If that is where you want to be, then go."

"Bellatrix, I know you aren't recruited with the Death Eaters," whispered Sirius, disheartened. "I know you're not."

"Dear cousin, this is the first time you are incorrect about me," she quietly responded. "What are you waiting for? Go."

"Bellatrix…"

"GO! You heard me! Go! Get out of here!" Her arms flailed wildly, as she herded Sirius to the doorway. "If you do not want to be a Black, I am not stopping you."  
Sirius silently collected his belongings. He gazed at his long-lost companion, and left his childhood bedroom with a small sigh. The door paused. "Once upon a time, Bellatrix, you did love me. Hatred will not alter you. To me, you will always be my Bella."

He was officially gone.

**X**

Bellatrix ventured out of Sirius's room, as painful memories flooded into her conscious. Her fingertips slid from the doorknob, as a partly opened door caught her attention. The 'Noble and Most Ancient House of Black' stood proudly in the room. She traced the ridges of her name. A burn mark was beside her, where her sister Andromeda should have been. Unconsciously, dark eyes traveled to where Sirius's name was inscribed. She had watched Aunt Walburga burn his name off.

The click of a door opening downstairs alerted Bellatrix's attention. "Who's there?" she called, pulling her wand out.

"It's me," Narcissa replied. "I am requesting a favor of you, sister. I would like you to accompany me to Severus's house."

Bellatrix remained immobile in the vacant room. The click of high-heeled boots up the stairs brought the smooth voice of her sister. "What are you doing here, Bella?"

"Nothing," Bellatrix retorted. "I wanted to see if Dumbledore left anything useful behind."

"Shall we go?" Narcissa suggested, gesturing slightly to the doorway.

Bellatrix pulled the hood over her head, and found her attention once again on the ruined family heirloom. "Goodbye, my little cousin," she whispered, and shut the door to her past.


End file.
